1204: 2012

We live, we love and we learn. These are the things that we are constantly doing throughout our life. Some people say that relationship is all about love, which I disagree. I've learned a lot about this relationship, and here I just want to say a few things about relationship.

Relationship needs understanding. If you don't understand someone, you can't even say that you love them. Because, what are you loving them for? It's not that easy to fully understand someone. It takes time and practice, because no one would just go off and tell each other about the deep side of themselves. The understanding I'm talking about there is not just about someone's personality and their hobbies and favorites either, it's more about the understanding of the needs and wants of your partner and how to make them happy. Throughout the years, I slowly came to understand that when Wesley wants to play video games, the best way is just to leave him alone. I may not get to the point to be patient about it, because sometimes I hope for that understanding on his side to me that he will realize to talk to me in between his video games. What will your partner do when he and she is not happy? How can you tell? When we came to be in a relationship, it's because most of the time, people don't want to be alone. We like to feel that we are being cared of, and that someone is there for us.

Relationship needs patience. Lots annd lots and LOTS of it. When your partner did something you don't like, you need patience. When you go walk around the mall and holding bags for your partner, you need patience. When you get to know that his/her parents don't like you, you need patience. When you are arguing, you need patience. When you want sex, you need patience. When you are fustrated, you need patience. When you got furstrated because your partner's furstration, you need patience. Patience is the key of the happiness of your relationship. You can't just always have two people yell in each other's face every time when one or both of them are not happy about something.

Understanding and patience. Understanding and patience. Understanding and patience.

Relationship is not a reality show, it's reality. I used to envy all the romantic things on reality TV shows that couples would do. Going out shopping, always holding hands together, guys preparing for romantic events and taking care of everything, and so on.

Khuntoria is my favorite TV couples on Korean's famous TV show, We Got Married 

But the truth is that relationship is not perfect. You get a little bit of this:

a little bit of this:

or even a little bit of this:

The reason that relationship is not perfect is that people are not perfect. And on top of that, people expected too much from their relationship and their partners. What do we do then? Keep it real.

Again, understanding and patience, understanding and patience, understanding and patience.

Love is selfish, and relationship is selfless. Why? Have you experience things like when your boyfriend looked like some other girl's ass and you just didn't say anything about it? You are jealous out of love, but you tolerant with it due to the willing of maintaining this relationship. So guys, don't get mad when girls are jealous. Girls are generally more sensitive about how other girls' minds works. When we see someone's hitting on our partner, oh we see it right through them. What do you do if you are the guy in this situation. Understanding and patience. Trust your women and try to make them happy. Not everyone is perfect and having a girl that "might" ruin your relationship is not worth of upsetting your partner, right? Afterall, we let you slipped so many times when you stare at other girls' pretty asses right in front of us. And girls, same thing goes to you. If someone is over-jealous, you would know and you would need to choose and decide whether this is something that you can tolerant. If you don't, well, you know what to do.

Relationship needs some time. I see more and more people nowadays would just go off married with someone they just been dating for 5 months. And lots of teenagers would get married just because their partners joined the military. Couple of weeks ago, my best friend back in China broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years, and told me that she's worried if she would ever find someone who's better than her ex and who she's going to end up with. So this is my opinion: Why so hurry? We as individuals need more time to even understand ourselves and slowly getting to know more and more about ourselves as we aging. How can you say that you find love and get married when you don't even know what you really want? Love has twists and turns and it's not that easy to be found. And even when you find love, you still need to manage relationship. So take more time, think more, and act more wisely.

After all, we all wish to have someone to grow old with. You can totally disagree with what I said here, because everyone is different and you need to find your own way to understand love and relationship. And sometimes people won't learn until they make some mistakes. But never be afraid of love and relationship, my friends. It's just sweet and bitter, and something you don't want to miss for your life.

This blog is to everyone who's in love and who wants to be in a relationship.

So I'm writing this one because there are only a few days left together. After two years and eight months together, life is taking us in different directions. In three days, Kathy will be moving down south to attend the CSU San Bernardino and a week later I will be leaving Humboldt County on my way to Boston, Massachusetts. Though there have been many arguments and as many downs as ups, the ups far surpassed the downs in quality. I will miss this wonderful young woman that saved my life almost three years ago, and taught me what love means, even though it's a lesson I have trouble learning. So here are a bunch of pictures from some of the happiest times in our life. I love you Kathy, and I'll miss you more than you know.